I recently went on a ‘mommy strike’ and have been sharing my experiences about it in a ‘logbook’ type fashion on Facebook. Much to my surprise, the response has been overwhelming and I have been asked to share it more publicly. So here it is…my very own blog.
Please feel free to share:) I have a feeling I am not the only crazy working mother out there!!
Monday, 25 March 2013
On Why Instructions are Important.....
I like instructions. I am the type of person to read instructions and follow them step-by-step.
Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
But sometimes instructions make the task at hand more difficult and
time consuming. Sometimes I can complete the job faster and more effectively with
my own ideas.
I recently dip dyed the older girls hair. Although I am
not a girly-girl in any way, shape or form and have never actually coloured my
own hair and really don’t even know how to use make-up…it just didn’t appear to
be Rocket Science to me.
So in keeping up with the ‘Worlds Coolest Mom’ persona, when
the Trolls asked me if they could dip dye their hair, I said yes.
They were shocked.
Truth be told, so was I.
We bought a dip-dye kit from the local drug store. It seemed simple enough and it was only $14!!
Please remember: I love me a good deal.
OF COURSE I read the instructions before taking on such a
The first step was to bleach the ends of the hair. Although
this made me nervous, I was successful with both girls. Yeah me! Usually things
like this end up with the twin who goes first has to deal with mom’s inevitable
screw up, while the daughter that goes second benefits from moms trial and
error lessons and her sisters tears.
(In this house you want to be second!! Seriously, crib number
one fell apart.)
Not this time…two kids with perfectly white hair at the
bottom and ready for colour.
contemplating a new career as a hair stylist.
Next came the pink and purple dye part. The instructions
informed me that although this fluorescent colour (read…holy shit that’s bright
pink) does wash out of the hair after a few months, the user should be
EXTREMELY CAUTIOUS while handling and applying the product. In bold letters it
stated to AVOID SKIN CONTACT and use the gloves provided. And the dye would
permanently stain ANY and ALL items it came into contact with.
Well…duh, wasn’t that the point?
Make contact with hair…hair is stained pink.
Brain surgery? I think not.
As I was applying the colour, I realized the gloves provided
in the kit were a pain in the ass and not helpful at all. Between the hair and
the dye and the plastic of the gloves it was all slippery and shit and I was
So in a moment of frustration, all I could remember was the
package telling me that the dye eventually washes out.
My brain had blocked out the other part about permanent....forever…staining….
skin contact…avoid…caution…blah blah blah.
I took the gloves off. I massaged that dye into the ends of
the hair like a freaking Vidal Sassoon pro. I may have had a British accent.
I panicked at the sight of my pink hands and squeezed the
bottle too hard and pink dye squirted down the front of me.
Then my hands were slippery with pink dye and the bottle
fell out of my hand and landed on the kitchen mat in a splash.
But it hit the white cupboard on the way down.
Then the ends of the long hair dripping with pink dye landed
in a slop against the back of my white dining chair as I let go of the hair to
pick up the bottle.
Then I grabbed a white towel only to remember a titch too
late that my hands still held a lot of dye on them. So I grabbed another towel.
And then another. And another.
Then I scratched an itch on my forehead.
Then I said a very bad word with my outside voice and had to apologize
with pink jazz hands to my daughters.
Once the kitchen was cleaned up, I set about the task of
trying to wash the pink dye from my hands. I looked like a Smurf on acid.
Convinced it really could be there forever, I decided to give a few household
products a try.
I mean really, how permanent could this really be? I must have something lying around that would turn my
hands back to normal.
Turns out it’s pretty permanent. Those instructions were
there for a reason. But if you ever find yourself in this predicament, please
refer to the graph below to assist you in choosing products according to their pink-hand
Although the product ‘Goo Gone’ sounds like it should only
be found in a store with blacked out windows, it actually does exist.
you can see in my handy-dandy pie graph, it worked the best. Not 100% removal..more like Fuchsia Pink to Bubble Gum Pink.
However, pink hand buyer beware…it burns like a mo-fo. In
hindsight, I should have paid attention to the itty-bitty Skull and Cross Bones
at the bottom of the bottle.
They should make that shit bigger so people know not to wash
their hands with it.
Good news though, the tingling is almost gone.
Please don’t ask "why butter". There really is no explanation
for my thought process behind that one. I was desperate.
So perhaps the $14 dollar pink hair dye was NOT my best idea
ever. ‘Perhaps’ I will pony up the 35 bucks next time to have it done at a professional salon.
Where they know what they are doing.
And use gloves.
2 Dip Dye Kits- $28
1 Ikea Kitchen Floor mat- $35
1 Williams’s Sonoma Apron- $65
1 White Cape Cod Style Kitchen Cupboard- $389
1 White Pier One Dining Chair- $199
6 White fluffy towels - $150
4 Sessions of Therapy for hearing mommy drop the
· 8 Household Products- $25
1 bottle of wine- $15 and my dignity lost in the
liquor store paying with pink hands.
Watching your children's joy and happiness and LOVE of their new hair…. PRICELESS!!!!!
I’m thinking my next kitchen should probably not be